George Carlin

Thanks to one of the great inventions of the last 10 years...by that I mean file sharing.  I've become a fan of George Carlin. I wasn't old enough (and didn't speak enough English) to enjoy his work in the 90s, but I surely know what I missed now.  Most of his social observations remain entertaining and alarmingly accurate today.  Especially when you listen to his classic rant about the first Persian Gulf War in 1992 while watching Bush's "War on Terrorism" in 2004. 

Everybody's got their favorite Carlin quotes, and here are a few of mine:

"Look at it this way: Think of how stupid the average person is...and realize, half of them are stupider than that." - on the general public

"Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?" - on prostitution

"The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes.  The middle class: pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.  The poor are there...just to scare the shit out of the middle class."  - on the economic and social classes in America

"The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic...plastic came out of the earth, the earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children...could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place:  it wanted plastic for itself, didn't know how to make it, needed us.  Could be the answer to our age-old philosophical question...why are we here?: plastic, assholes." - on plastic being non-degradable

"How come when it's us, it's an abortion...and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet?" - on abortion

"If everything that ever lived is dead, and everything alive is gonna die...where does the sacred part come in?" - on sanctity of life

"Maybe it's not the politicians who suck, maybe something else sucks around here...like, the public." - on complaining about politicians

"Not all children are smart and clever, got that?  Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners...a whole lot of losers." - on children

"It's called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."