JADE:

I DO NOT MIND IF YOU POST MY LETTER OR MY NAME. I AM CURRENTLY ATTEMPTING TO BECOME DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OFFICE AT MY POLICE DEPARTMENT. I HOPE TO SLOW OR DIMISH THIS EVER GROWING PROBLEM.

DAN

I WRITING TO TELL OF ONE POSSIBLE REASON FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I WAS DIVORCED ON 10/95. MY WIFE WAS ALWAYS ACCUSING ME OF HAVING AFFAIRS. WELL TO MAKE A POINT SHORT I LEARNED THAT MY WIFE HAD AN AFFAIR 2 YEARS PRIOR TO OUR DIVORCE. DURING THOSE 2 YEARS I PUT UP WITH BOTH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE (BOTH LEFT SCARS). I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ONE POSSIBLE REASON FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE IS GUILT. THE PARTNER TRYS TO MAKE THE VICTIM THE SUSPECT BY TAUNTING AND EVEN SOMTIMES ATTACKING THEM.

IT TOOK ME SEVERAL MONTHES TO REALIZE THAT I HAD BEEN A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I HAD A FRIEND BRING TO MY ATTENTION THAT WHENEVER SHE WOULD MOVE QUICKLY I WOULD FLINCH. I WONDER HOW MANY OTHERS OUT THERE HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS.

MAYBE SOME OF YOU ABUSIVE MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD WATCH YOUR SPOUSE AND SEE IF THEY FLINCH WHEN YOU MOVE QUICKLY NEAR THEM. I WOULD SAY TO YOU THAT IF THEY FLINCH EVERY TIME, TALK WITH THEM OR GET SOME HELP.

I MIGHT MENTION THAT I AM A POLICE OFFICER (SURPRISE!) AND I HAVE SEEN MOST OF THE ACTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I WOULD RATHER HELP AN ABUSER THAN ARREST ONE, BUT IF THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES TO TO STOP THE ABUSE THEN BELIEVE THAT ARREST WILL HAPPEN. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STOPS AT HOME!!!!!!!!