An older list
I don't really understand the necessity of marriage. Why is it necessary as an institution? If you're committed to being in a relationship with someone, marriage is unnecessary, I think, and if you're not, then why should society force you to be together? I don't like how differently I was treated once I was married... People didn't treat me like a person, but as half of a "couple". I went through a period when I was bitter or scornful of marriage, but now I just don't see it's relevance.
People have given me several arguments for marriage. One is that it is good for the children. I don't know about that, though. I think children are very influenced by the quality of their parents' relationship, but whether there is a legal document saying they are legally married or not is less important, I think. Children are usually more flexible than adults, in my opinon (at least about some things).
One argument I do see for marriage is for visa reasons. I can understand two people that love each other marrying because the laws of the land they live in require it in order to move freely between the two countries.
It was interesting noticing how much my attitudes towards divorce changed after I did it myself. I believe most people have the unspoken assumption that divorce is a "bad thing". Once again, this talks about the dangers of generalization. For me, I was always mystified when people said, "oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce." I understood their sentiment, and yes, the separation was difficult, but the divorce and separation was one of the best things that ever happened in my life. I'm sure it's like that for many people. If they were happy in their marriages, they wouldn't be getting divorced, so maybe some people's reaction is "relief" instead of something else.
Aargh! I have a rather funny book, called How to Avoid Love & Marriage, that has a section that goes like this:
Choose the fun words from each of the following pairs of words:
Funny, eh? Well, I thought it was anyway. I do see the value of committment, however. Two of my best friends are in a relationship with each other, and watching how they've grown together by being willing to work through just about anything has really taught me a lot about the value of committment.Petting / Committment French kissing / Committment One-night-stand / Committment Cheap thrills / Committment Walking the dog / Committment
I think people are essentially bisexual, but culturally conditioned to be heterosexual. I'm not very attracted to men, but I think that's because of the way I was brought up. If everything I watched on TV and in society was gay relationships, I'd probably be gay. For this reason, I sometimes call myself bisexual, but I'm not sure if I should say that unless I'm really interested in both types of relationships, so I'm heterosexual, except for on Mondays, when I call myself bisexual. :-)
I really do not understand how someone can believe that homosexuality is wrong. Let's walk through this argument a bit.
If you believe that homosexuality is wrong, then what are the possible reasons you could think this?
Another thing, if you do read this and are convinced, then change your mind with integrity. Think about what the implications are of changing your mind, and how that should change your behavior.
Okay, so let's begin. First of all, let's start with the "it's not natural" argument. Essentially, this argument says that the natural expression of sex is between a man and woman. Basically, this says that the purpose of sex is procreation (having babies), and therefore homosexuality is not "natural".
Let's take this argument to it's logical conclusion: if the purpose of sex is procreation, then it should only be done for procreation. If that were not so, then homosexuality would be fine, right? If it should only be done for procreation, then couples should not have sex because they enjoy it, but because they are trying to have children. This type of thinking is what led the Church to proclaim that sex is okay, as long as you don't enjoy it! If you do believe these things, and then believe that homosexuality is unnatural, then at least you're being logically consistent, and I can respect that. Bear in mind, then, that masturbation is then also unnatural. If you're religious, perhaps it might make you wonder why God gave you sexual pleasure and then expect you to not enjoy it.
How about the next argument? It's against the Bible (or whatever). Well, the Bible does say all sorts of things, and if we followed everything the Bible said exactly, we'd be living very strange lives. You might also wonder why it is considered wrong. What about homosexuality is wrong? Most of the basic teachings in the Bible have some sort of external validity to them. You can say, "thou shall not kill" has a value to it that you can see. What about homosexuality? Why is it considered wrong?
It's perverted: well, again, what about it is perverted. There are homosexuals who do some pretty twisted stuff. But heterosexuals do too. Why is it a homosexual/heterosexual issue, then? If I say "all Asians who murder should be put in prison", isn't that a little strange? Why not say "all people who murder should be put in prison?" (aside, I'm not saying that prison is necessarily the best solution, and I'm not comparing sexual deviation to murder, just using this as an argument).
Now we get to "sex should be between two married people". What is this argument based on? And why shouldn't gay couples be allowed to marry? Who is deciding the "should be", and what is the rationale for it? I don't understand it, personally.